9th august 2018 / Simon Taylor

A listening program for my kids

I’ve implemented a listening program for my kids.

I get feedback on my parenting skills and work out what I can do differently.

On a weekly basis, I ask them to fill in a structured questionnaire. They rate every aspect of their experience as one of my children, and overall questions on satisfaction and loyalty. I use natty software to run the analysis and feed it into my fatherhood dashboard. I get bonuses for improvements in my parenting performance.

I also monitor their social media interactions and derive data on their parent-related sentiment. I track this against the structured survey, and I can see a strong correlation between sentiment and satisfaction. If they’re unhappy with my parenting skills they absolutely share this with their friends, and this has an impact on my reputation as a father.

Regularly I hook them up to EEG and fMRI equipment, and calculate the neuro-engagement scores related to the different types of activities that I do with them. This helps me plan our time together, ensuring I get the biggest emotional bang for my time and money.

Finally, I’ve developed a set of cognitive biases which explain how and why my children divert from rational behaviour. That way I can begin to predict their decisions, and nudge them towards doing what I need them to do. They’re better behaved and more helpful around the house.

It’s a comprehensive, multi-faceted programme from which I get a significant return on my investment. It helps me understand my children and generate actions for improvement of my parenting.

My wife, on the other hand, chats to them and listens to what they say back.

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